New Year's Resolutions Jokes: Laughter Is The Best Motivation For 2024

Karlie Schmidt 12 May 2025

Let’s face it, folks—New Year's resolutions are like gym memberships. Everyone buys one, but not everyone uses it. But hey, that's where the humor comes in! If you're looking for jokes about New Year's resolutions to lighten up your January blues, you've come to the right place. Whether you're resolving to lose weight, save money, or just drink more coffee, we’ve got a laugh waiting for you around every corner.

There’s something magical about starting fresh, but let’s be real—most of us fall off the wagon before Valentine’s Day rolls around. That’s why New Year’s resolution jokes are the perfect way to keep things in perspective. Laughing at ourselves might just be the motivation we need to stick with our goals this time around.

So grab your favorite drink, settle into your coziest chair, and get ready to laugh until you cry. We’re diving deep into the world of New Year’s resolution humor, because who says self-improvement can’t be fun? Let’s make 2024 the year of resolutions and giggles!

Here’s a quick roadmap to all the hilarity ahead:

Biography of New Year's Resolution Jokes
Why Jokes About New Year's Resolutions Help
Top 10 New Year's Resolution Jokes for 2024
Stats Behind New Year's Resolutions
Fun Facts About New Year's Resolutions
How to Stay Motivated With Humor
Most Common New Year's Resolutions
Relationship-Based Resolutions
Workplace Resolutions and Jokes
Wrapping It Up

Biography of New Year's Resolution Jokes

Ever wondered where New Year’s resolution jokes came from? Well, they’ve been around for as long as people have been making (and breaking) resolutions. Back in ancient Babylon, folks would make promises to their gods at the start of each year. Fast forward to today, and we’re still making promises—just now we add a dash of sarcasm.

Who Started Making Resolutions Anyway?

Turns out, the tradition of making New Year’s resolutions dates back thousands of years. The Romans were big fans of starting the year with a clean slate, and so were the Egyptians. So, when did the jokes start? Probably the moment someone realized they’d forgotten their resolution by February.

Here’s a quick breakdown:

Fact	Details
Year Established	Over 4,000 years ago
Origin	Ancient Babylonians
Modern Twist	Adding humor to keep things light

Why Jokes About New Year's Resolutions Help

Let’s be honest—keeping a resolution is hard work. That’s why jokes about New Year’s resolutions are such a lifesaver. They remind us that it’s okay to stumble and that laughter is one of the best ways to stay motivated.

Science Says Humor Works

Research shows that humor reduces stress and boosts our mood. When we laugh, our brains release endorphins, which make us feel good. So, if you’re feeling down about not sticking to your resolution, a good joke might be just what you need to get back on track.

And guess what? Laughing also strengthens relationships. Sharing a funny New Year’s resolution joke with a friend or family member can bring you closer together—and maybe even inspire them to join in on the fun.

Top 10 New Year's Resolution Jokes for 2024

Alright, folks, here’s the moment you’ve been waiting for—the best New Year’s resolution jokes of the year. These are guaranteed to make you chuckle, even if you’ve already given up on your goals.

1. My New Year’s Resolution Is to Stop Procrastinating

I started working on it last year… but I think I’ll wait until tomorrow to really get serious about it.

2. I Resolve to Drink More Water

But only if it comes in the form of beer or wine. Cheers to hydration!

3. Losing Weight Is My Goal

But I’ve already gained five pounds from eating all the stress away while writing my resolutions.

4. This Year, I’m Going to Save Money

Starting next month. Right after I pay off my credit card bills from December.

5. My Resolution Is to Read More Books

And by “more,” I mean anything longer than a tweet.

6. I Want to Spend More Time With Family

As long as they don’t invite me to their holiday parties again.

7. Exercise Is Key to Success

So I’ve decided to take the stairs… occasionally.

8. I’m Cutting Out Junk Food

But only the kind that doesn’t taste good. Bring on the pizza!

9. My Goal Is to Be Kinder to Others

Starting with myself. Maybe I’ll stop calling myself a “resolution failure” already.

10. I Resolve to Learn Something New Every Day

Like how to press snooze without even opening my eyes.

Stats Behind New Year's Resolutions

Numbers don’t lie, and the stats on New Year’s resolutions are both fascinating and hilarious. Did you know that 80% of resolutions fail by February? No wonder there are so many jokes about them!

According to a study by the University of Scranton, only 8% of people actually achieve their New Year’s resolutions. But don’t let that discourage you. The same study found that those who make resolutions are 10 times more likely to succeed than those who don’t.

Why Do So Many Resolutions Fail?

Setting unrealistic goals
Lack of accountability
Not tracking progress
Getting overwhelmed

But hey, even if you fall off the wagon, you can always hop back on—or at least laugh about it.

Fun Facts About New Year's Resolutions

Ready for some trivia? Here are a few fun facts about New Year’s resolutions that might surprise you:

The most popular resolution is to lose weight, followed closely by saving money and quitting smoking.
January 17th is known as “Quitter’s Day,” the day most people give up on their resolutions.
People who share their resolutions with others are more likely to stick to them.
About 45% of Americans make New Year’s resolutions each year.

So, if you’re feeling guilty about not sticking to your resolution, remember—you’re not alone. And if all else fails, there’s always next year!

How to Stay Motivated With Humor

Sticking to a New Year’s resolution isn’t easy, but adding a touch of humor can make it a lot more bearable. Here are a few tips to keep you laughing and motivated:

1. Set Realistic Goals

Instead of resolving to run a marathon, start with walking around the block. Baby steps, folks!

2. Find a Resolution Buddy

Having someone to share the journey—and the jokes—with can make all the difference.

3. Reward Yourself

Every time you hit a milestone, treat yourself to something fun. Just don’t let the rewards become the downfall of your resolution.

4. Keep It Light

If you slip up, don’t beat yourself up. Just laugh it off and try again tomorrow.

Most Common New Year's Resolutions

Curious about what everyone else is resolving to do this year? Here’s a list of the most common New Year’s resolutions for 2024:

Lose weight
Save money
Exercise regularly
Learn a new skill
Travel more
Quit smoking
Drink less alcohol
Improve relationships

Sound familiar? You’re not alone. These resolutions are so popular because they’re things we all struggle with. But remember, it’s okay to add your own twist—or a little humor—to make them more fun.

Relationship-Based Resolutions

Resolutions aren’t just about self-improvement—they can also focus on improving our relationships. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

1. Spend More Quality Time Together

Put down the phone and have a real conversation with your partner, family, or friends.

2. Practice Active Listening

Really listen when someone is talking to you. It’s amazing how much closer it can make you feel.

3. Show Appreciation

Tell the people in your life how much you love and appreciate them. A little gratitude goes a long way.

Workplace Resolutions and Jokes

Workplace resolutions are a great way to improve your career in the new year. But let’s face it—they can also be the source of some pretty funny jokes. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

1. Be More Organized

Start by cleaning out your desk drawer. Who knows what you might find in there?

2. Improve Communication

Instead of sending that email, why not walk over to your coworker’s desk and have a real conversation?

3. Take Breaks

It’s okay to step away from your desk for a few minutes. In fact, it might make you more productive in the long run.

And here’s a joke to lighten the mood: My workplace resolution is to stop hitting the snooze button so I don’t show up late. But if my alarm clock had legs, I’d still be in bed right now.

Wrapping It Up

There you have it, folks—a comprehensive guide to New Year’s resolution jokes and how to stay motivated in 2024. Whether you’re resolving to lose weight, save money, or just drink more coffee, remember that laughter is the best motivator.

So, what are you waiting for? Start sharing these jokes with your friends and family. And if you haven’t made a resolution yet, don’t worry—it’s never too late to start. Just don’t forget to laugh at yourself along the way.

Before you go, why not leave a comment and share your favorite New Year’s resolution joke? Or, if you’re feeling inspired, check out some of our other articles on self-improvement and humor. Happy New Year, and may all your resolutions come true—or at least make you laugh!

New Year’s Resolutions

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New Year's Resolutions Memes 2021 / That way i succeed at something!